


Stiles the Cat!

by Tarton



Series: The Diverging Universes of Stiles Stilinski [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, F/M, Humor, M/M, Sexual Humor, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-08 23:26:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarton/pseuds/Tarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles becomes a cat. He can only talk to Derek, as Derek is the alpha.</p><p>He also does cat like things. Like watching people do everything!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nap over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nomz_bunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomz_bunny/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Aroo?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/729788) by [mfingalpha (nomz_bunny)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomz_bunny/pseuds/mfingalpha). 



> If you are coming straight to here, check out the first part of the series, The Ceremony, as it is the point of divergence for the entire series. Obviously this is kind of Crack... too crack not to add it as a tag for this work. and yeah, i am totally putting a non-con warning on here, as Stiles was definitely not asking permission during some of his crazy escapades. Be forewarned.

Oh god, he was in his room alright, but it was all wrong, blown apart. It was insane. “God help me if my dad woke up from that.”

He was sitting in his bed. “Well that wouldn’t be fun. That would be horrible.”

“Stiles, Stiles?”

Hiss and a pop, a completed spell. But what had just happened?

“Stiles, are you in there?”

“MEROW!”

“Is that a cat? Stiles?”

“MEROW!” which of course meant that Stiles was awake, and if there was a cat, he’d be just as surprised as his father.

Stiles looked around the room, quickly. He hadn’t even bothered to move yet. He was a bit disoriented. Yeah, he was in his bed, but he was at the foot of it. And there was a lot of stuff that looked out of place, but that was because he was upside down. And now that he was orientated, he could see that everything was exactly how it should be. But why did it all look… different?

“Damn it. Of course the one morning he actually is home this week I already have pancakes made. Should have tried to wake him up first. And of course he has a cat, why wouldn’t he have a cat? He’s only going off to college. Who is going to take care of a cat then?”

He heard it all, like his dad was still there, still outside his door. But then he heard the car start, drive away. And yet, he was still listening to his dad. His dad who had made pancakes. Mmm pancakes.

Stiles tried to get out of bed. He really did. The room had oriented right side up. But maybe not. He felt his bed on his back. Hmmm. Neck.

He rolled his neck, his world shifting back to the upside down mess it was before. And he tried to push back with his shoulders, but he couldn’t. There was nothing to push back with, nothing. “I’m just drunk. I think. Just need to stop thinking about it.”

And then he was upright, on top of his bed. All for feet touching the sheets. 

Four feet.

There was something not quite right about that. “Why do I have four feet?”

Then Stiles heard it, the mewing of a talking cat. He looked around, left, then right. Then he saw it. It was a furry orange thing, not much bigger than a kitten. And it was apparently close by. Instantly it hissed at him. It was trying to make itself bigger than he was. It seemed to say “Back off man, I’m going to rip your face off.”

But then Stiles was airborne, hitting his mirror with a bit of force, pushing his claws, and yes he had felt them, four claws on each foot, four feet on his body. He was scared. “Ok, so that’s my mirror, and that means… what?”

There was that mewing sound, like a cat deep in conversation. Stiles looked up at the mirror again. “Shit, I’m a cat!”

***


	2. First steps

Of course, being himself, he was instantly worrying about if he was ever going to get back to normal. And of course, he ignored most of that without too much trouble. Because he was Stiles Stillinski! He would always be inquisitive over anything else. And so he climbed, he tumbled and he jumped. All over his room. “This is awesome. I wish I was just a bit bigger, wouldn’t hurt.”

And suddenly he felt it, the tug of magic. “And where there is magic…” he meowed. He felt the change, but when it was over, he saw it. He was bigger, much bigger. “Cool!”

He might have been a lion, or something like that, but he looked like he was still a kitten, well, proportionately. He felt another change, and he was a lion. A real honest to goodness lion, from Africa! Of all the cool things. “Now if only I could walk around the house, that’d be cool!”

And with a thought, the door to his room unlocked, “Sweet! Who needs thumbs!” he roared. He stalked into the bathroom, wondering how he would pee when he was a lion. But then again, he didn’t need to pee, not yet. He could hold it. There were other things he was more interested in. He roared a happy sound, and went back to his room. “Smaller” he meowed. Somehow he became a mountain lion. It was smaller, but it wasn’t what he had meant. “This is strange. What am I?”

Of course, roaring into the room wasn’t going to help him, so he decided to see exactly how much control he had over the shift. He thought back to the kitten he had seen in the mirror earlier. “Come on, you can do it Stillinski.”

And then he felt it, felt himself shrinking into a tiny little kitten. It was quick, painless. He could do this. “And now I want to be outside, so open the window.”

He meowed a cute little meow. He stared at the window, and nothing happened. He felt his magic being used, but it wasn’t doing anything. He wanted to face palm. He cut his magic. Of course he couldn’t leave this place, he was stuck in here. He had wards against people using magic to enter his house, why would his wards stop him from leaving? Why wouldn’t they? He was angry. He didn’t want to break the window, but maybe he wouldn’t have to. He had friends, and his friends would let him out. Surely they would want to hang out with a guy who could change forms better than they could.

But for now, Stiles wanted to nap.

So he did.

The sun was high in the sky, and he knew before he looked at his clock that it was getting closer to one o’clock in the afternoon. He looked over his shoulder. It was 12:48, a bit farther than closer to o’clock than he would have liked it. Food. He needed food, but what would he want to eat? And he really needed to pee. How did cat’s pee? Or anything else for that matter?

“RELAX!”

The yowl of a cat startled him out of his thoughts. He really did need to relax. Maybe he could go find a nice bush or something to hide in for a bit. He really didn’t want to lick himself clean afterwards though, that just seemed… gross. But there were spells for that. If he could open a door, he could probably do those.

Spells rumbling through his head, he walked out of his room and into the bathroom. He grew minutely while he pounced up. He spread his legs. They seemed to not like that. He didn’t like it either, this was awkward. How did normal cats do this? He never really watched them take care of this sort of thing. “THINK” he yowled. 

The yowl made him crouch low, and he started pissing, hitting the water below. Well that was one way to do this. He tried the cleaning spell he used, carefully keeping it specific. He had learned that intent was sometimes all it took and there, it was done. He could see the cleanliness of himself. And now that it was clean…

“When in Rome.”

Stiles booked it into his room, closed the door with a flick of his whiskers, and jumped onto his bed. “I mean, I would do this when I was human, why not do it now?”

And so Stiles pawed his lap. For five minutes he pawed at himself. His kitten form didn’t react. So he tried a tomcat, a big black thing. He had seen one once, thought it was kind of cool. “Come on! Just work! You love it when I do this to you. You do it when I don’t want you to! Why won’t you work now?”

Stiles was confused. He was pretty sure that cats would enjoy this. But he thought again, maybe there was something to be said for cats cleaning themselves like that. “Ok, you are a cat, no human squeamishness. Just do it.” And he took a tentative lick. “WOAH!”

He licked again. It felt horrible, and it felt good, and it was strange. But it wasn’t wet, it didn’t feel good, not the feeling of it. “I need a bowl of water.”

As soon as he was able to, he walked out of his room, down to the kitchen and turned on the faucet. Water would taste good. He magiked a bowl from the cupboard, and magiked a pancake to the floor. Magic was easy for him all of a sudden. It didn’t feel like he needed to reach for it. It was part of him more than it ever had been. “Well, if you made me pancakes, I will gladly eat it.”

His communication with himself was more than just a bit crazy, he knew he must have sounded like a pissed off cat. He knew he might have called any other cat crazy, but he needed to think in human ways. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to be human. This was great. “Come on Stiles, just get your ass outside sooner or later, then you try and figure out what to do. How to get back to normal.”

Secretly, as he started biting on his pancake, he wanted to be a cat, at least part of the time. It had its advantages. He finished the pancake, and drank more water. As long as he didn’t think about it, he could do it. He could do whatever he wanted. He could jump up from the floor to the counter; he could land on his feet. But if he thought too hard about what he wanted to do, he would fall on his face. It hurt. And once he had bled a bit. But he was happy. Mostly.

And his hearing! He could hear lots of things he couldn’t before. “Did you hear, Sheriff Stillinski might be dating again. They say he was at the gym the other day, and he was over at Ms. McCall’s again. For hours this time.”

Stiles thought derisively of his neighbor, she was a gossip. But he didn’t know that Ms. McCall and his father had been hanging out. Or that his dad had joined a gym. He might have let him have steak once in a while if he had. Although if he was in a gym, might explain the Sneaky runs and the burger joint. Both of those were forbidden… but at least he was trying something.

“His son is a strange one, always hanging around with Derek Hale, you don’t think those two?”

The other woman, someone who Stiles couldn’t identify was listing reasons she felt like Derek was a pedophile. Of course Stiles ignored that part, but he couldn’t help but think, yeah, he wouldn’t mind that rumor being true. If he and Derek were part of a “those two” then he would be pretty happy.

Was he purring? That was strange. He hadn’t purred yet.

He heard jingling! “YAY!”

Someone was coming up the drive, someone with keys! Keys to his house, hopefully. He sat his furry butt on the ground, deciding with very little thought that a cute and innocent kitten would probably be a better bet than an angry lion.

He sniffed something in the air. Something unpleasant, but not because it wasn’t familiar. He had smelled Scott plenty of times. This made him want to become the biggest and toughest cat he could think of, and there wasn’t a thought in his mind as what that could be. He just imagined it. And then he was it. He was taller than the windows on the top, and Scott saw him too. He was wolfed out, hand stalled. Stiles growled at him. And Scott growled back.

They stared each other down, and then Scott was gone. He jumped up, and Stiles heard his window upstairs open. He didn’t want to fight Scott though, but he couldn’t do much else, not when he looked like this. His reflection looked like living flame and lava eyes. His body felt strong and feral. His mind was screaming kill, his human side was screaming stop! Nothing made sense. So Stiles became a kitten and high tailed it under the couch.

Scott for his part was growling up a storm. Of course that made Stiles want to piss himself. And he suddenly really needed to piss. Not now though, that would leave a tell tale scent. “Stiles? Stiles! Are you ok?”

Screaming for him when there was a monster in the house. Really Scott? Really? Of course, he couldn’t risk meowing now. Instead he just allowed himself to shake uncontrollably. “Stiles? Are you hurt? Stiles!”

And Scott was in the kitchen, just in Stiles’ sight. He waited. “Now were the hell is that thing?”

He was still wolfed out, so Stiles waited. He needed to be fast, but he couldn’t be fast until he was far enough from Scott to transform, he knew that somehow, he could do it on the fly. He could do it midstride if he needed. “Stiles? Where are you?”

Scott bent over, put his finger on the floor and sniffed, “Blood, oh shit! Stiles!? STILES!?”

And that was it, Scott was by the front door, following the scent that was all over the house, but he was sniffing the window frame, as if that was going to give him knowledge that he couldn’t have gotten from any other place he was. Stiles suddenly knew that this was a very silly wolf. He didn’t know how to be a wolf. He could outrun him.

And so he did. And he was transforming on the fly. And he was a cheetah, and he was gone.

Of course, getting to his room was one thing, being chased by Scott out of his window was another. Transforming again, just outside of the window, he turned into a black tomcat. Power spilled from every limb, and he landed, springy and spry, on the grass below. He didn’t stop to see Scott land close behind. He knew Scott was no longer wolfed out, but he could probably catch him. And claws didn’t show up as easily as everything else. So Stiles did something crazy. The two women were still gabbing about nothing, and Stiles high tailed it between them, almost unnoticed. Scott on the other hand, was stopped in his tracks. So Stiles ran, all the way down the block, down the road, and to the woods.

He ran in circles, not sure where he was going. He ran one way for a few miles, then cut back and crossed his trail another way. He marked places he didn’t really think Scott would scent, but he wasn’t thinking. He just needed to get away from all of this. And then he ran across the stream. He let himself go in it, wetting his fur, he felt horrible. It was cold and wet and not clean! Well, if it had been bath water, maybe, but this just meant that he’d have to lick himself until… “TIME TO BE HUMAN!”

The yowl was answered by silence. He was alone. Ok, human and alone, in a cat’s body. He could do this. Where was he. He didn’t know. Wet, cold, and a long distance from home. This is what lost cats had to deal with. Not human boys. “I’ll find my way.”

His soft meow went unanswered. He walked out of the stream, on the same side he had entered. And then jumped it. That would confuse anyone looking for him. For a few minutes maybe. He walked down stream, crossing the stream as much as he fancied, or not at all if he could help it. It would keep his scent down. Derek had told him how to hide from a werewolf once. And this was as good a time to use that as ever.

Stiles heard a car on the road, which meant that to his right, there would be road, and possibly a way to a place he could hide. Maybe Scott would forget that a cat had jumped out the window. Maybe he would forget that the cat changed shape, and that it smelled like, well he didn’t know what he smelled like. Maybe he could find Derek, and just rub his face against him until the man realized that Stiles was Stiles.

And so he set off, for the edge of the world.

Or twenty feet that a way.

And he found himself at the crux of the two highways that made up the boundary of Hale territory. He could enter it, and he would be in the inner circles of Derek’s area, a place he was always somewhat reluctantly received as a human, but as a cat… he didn’t know. He was using a really epic narrators voice in his head. And he really needed to stop it or someone (himself) was going to throw him under a bus.

Crossing the street as a cat was both easier and harder than it had been in normal human life. There were cars, sure, but he was faster than them. He could out run them all, and somewhere in his mind, he knew he could probably rip a car to scrap if he really felt up to it. “And don’t you forget it.”

He yowled at the blue convertible. 

Ok, that was strange. He zipped across the road, and into the most deserted area he had ever seen. It was wide open and treeless, a great place to congregate for their next pack picnic, if Derek didn’t try and make it “chase Stiles” day again.

And then he heard it, the rustling of leaves and the pad of paws. They were close. And Stiles was a kitten.

He climbed up a tree, slowly, surely. The wolf came into view. It was HUGE! Bigger than any wolf had a right to be really. 

It perched on a rock, a big rock, the biggest rock on the outside of this clearing. It looked full of intent and anger. It looked like it was about to do something that it enjoyed, but with sadness in its heart. It took a deep breath, deeper than any breath it might have taken in its entire life. 

Stiles was enraptured by the movement. It was strong and steady, slow and deliberate. All the things that Stiles was not.

And then he fell out of his branch.


End file.
